Paging Winona Horowitz

I may be a brand-new blogger, but I know a few things. Don't overdo the blinkies, a la certain 1998 Geocities tributes to Pacey Whittaker. Don't publish anything I wouldn't read out loud to my boss. Do be succinct. And definitely do refer to recurring characters in my blog with snappy pseudonyms.

I do not know why pseudonyms are all that important in a personal blog. I guess the ostensible purpose is to maintain a modicum of privacy on behalf of people who never even asked to be discussed in the blogosphere. However, more importantly, using pseudonyms just seems to be What Is Done.

Unfortunately, I am having an extremely difficult time getting my compatriots behind the whole pseudonym idea.

The first pseudonym to-do on my list was finding one for N, my boyfriend. I had been thinking a bit about his pseudonym, and I had come up with a few ideas, none of which I really liked. At the top of the list was "Mein Herr," because his last name is German, and the Sally Bowles overtones pleased me. However, perhaps "Sally Bowles overtones" are actually just plain "Nazi-ish"? The only other pseudonym that came to mind was one that would draw on a famous namesake, such as Nelson Mandela, but, eh.

I called N to ask his opinion.

*I don't know. Do I really need a pseudonym?

*You do.

*But, um, won't all of your blog's readers be able to guess who the pseudonym references?

*What are you saying, that my blog is only going to have, like, three readers?

*Baby, no! I mean . . . no. Um, I dunno, how about something like with Nelson Mandela.

*Eh.

*Yeah.

. . .

*Any other ideas? I really think you should have a pseudonym.

*I guess you could refer to me by my dad's or grandfather's name.

*N, if you ran your own blog, would you ever consider referring to me by my mother's name?

*No, that would be creepy.

Next up, Faith.

*Faith, I've taken up blogging. Don't you want a pseudonym?

*I don't need one. Not unless you write, like, something really ridiculous and embarrassing about me. And even then I probably wouldn't care.

Tim, rather predictably, was more enthusiastic about choosing a pseudonym. "Are we talking something hokey and possibly alliterative, or, like, 'Rafael'?"

So I guess what it comes down to is that I have a new friend named Rafael.